This is Cancer, Right?

Thursday, February 01, 2007

warning

where is my mind....?

It was about time you wrote again.
How do you spell your first name?
T – o – m
Lit a cigarette.
Which one?
The one with Patrick the Star on it.
Smoking can kill right?
I think so.
At least that’s what is written on.
I have to quit smoking
Except Chloe no 1 there is always Chloe no 2 and no 3.
Chloe no 3 was Upset ten minutes ago.
Does she think she knows everything or something?
It’s so easy to make mistakes and then not take responsibility about your actions.
That’s when it becomes unfair. I can’t come up with another word for incorrect.
Psychotic that’s what she is.
Microfobia is her thing.
You little whore.
Tiny little whore.
Mess with my head. Go on. Make my day.
Chloe no 2 is walking on Chloe’s no 3 footsteps.
Good luck with that girl. Break a leg wont you?







With your feet in the air , and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it! Yeahh!
Your head will collapse, but there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself?

chorus:
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Way out, in the water see it swimmin´

I was swimmin´ in the Carribean
Animals would hide behind the rocks.
Except the little fish
But he told me east was west
Tryin' to talk

chorus:
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Way out, in the water see it swimmin´?

With your feet in the air, and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it! Yeahh!
Your head will collapse if there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

chorus:
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Way out, in the water see it swimmin´


My mind is in a state
His soul all seem to do is took my fate
Well I try to be space (?)
But all the world was crushing at the gate
This time...
This time...
Reality's stroke me in-between the eyes

My mind is in a state
As everything i miss it comes to late
So I tried and disappear
To do it's only one way out of fear
This time...
This time...
Reality's stroke me between the eyes

My mind is in a state
But all I need to do is change my pace
And I know it's fear the fate
But happiness is foggin' as embrace
This time...
This time...
This time...
This time...

This time...

This time...

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Irreversible


Intro

In our family portrait, we look pretty happy
Let’s play pretend, let's act like it comes
naturally

Father


He’d drink every night until he passed out
And then he’d do it all again
The whole time smiling on the outside
To cover the pain
But on the inside
All he was trying to do was get away


Funny how things change color
Than fade to another shade
When you had it made it was all good
But now look just another day
It was so fresh
It was so clean
Never saw it gone
One, two, three
Lights out, which way to turn
Can't get a grip
All alone in a big white house
Every day gets worse
And you just curse until your head bursts
And it hurts so bad she left
Now you suffer
Should've thought of that one first
No family, no kids
Cant accept what you did
Now you wanna run away
But you can't
Cause the past comes back again

Slippin through the cracks
Sip a little jack
Go to bed half dead
What about rent
Why does every cent gotta be a bet
Whens it gonna end
he wants to get away from the pain
In a better place in his brain
But the medication he takes
Makes him wasted
So sick he was gonna think
The good lord would come take him
I'm shaking him
Wake up you son of a bitch!

He's dying to get away
Let the pain of yesterday
Go slipping through the cracks
Hiding himself away
Watching all the memories fade away
From red to black

Son


In the beginning were I didn’t know as time passed on still didn’t know
But this time, this time I’m gonna try it my way I m gonna live life my way
This time, this time I’m gonna try it my way I m gonna live life my way
Well I didn’t know just couldn’t see the memories of past failures kept haunting me
This time, this time I’m gonna try it my way I m gonna live life my way
There was a dream I wanted to come true but dreams they need to be followed through
That’s why, this time I’m gonna try it my way I m gonna live life my way



Mother


While all the time that I was loving you
You were busy loving yourself
so many years out of my life
Besides the kids I have nothing to show
Wasted my years a fool of a wife
I shoulda have left your ass a long time ago
so many years of sacrifice
And you can leave at the drop of a dime
Swallowed my fears, stood by your side
I shoulda left your ass a thousand times

Well Im not gon cry,
Im not gon cry,
Im not gon shed no tears
No, Im not gon cry,
Its not the time
Cuz youre not worth my tears
Well Im not gon cry,
Im not gon cry,
Im not gon shed no tears
No, Im not gon cry,
Its not the time,
Cuz youre not worth my tears


Daughter no 2


So you want
To be free
To live your life
The way you wanna be
Will you give?
If we cry
Will we live?
Or will we die?
Uh huh

Tainted hearts
Heal with time
Shoot bad love
So we can stop the beating

Solitary brother
Is there still a part of you that wants to live?
Solitary brother
Is there still a part of you that wants to give?

Solitary brother
Is there still a part of you that wants to live?
Solitary brother
Is there still a part of you that wants to give?



It was the 3rd of September
That day I'll always remember, yes I will
'Cause that was the day, my Daddy died

I never had the chance to see him, no
Never heard nothing but bad things about him
Mama I'm depending on you
To tell me the truth

Your Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
(And when he died)
All that he left us was alone

Can you believe he left us?

All alone yeah
All alone yeah
All alone yeah

Daughter no 1

Moms got tired of all the mess and said, " we got to go"
Packed up her bags we bounced out the door'
She said, "I ain't taking these shit no more
I wanna live to see my kids grow"
I remember tear drops on my pops face
Looking' down at me standing' on the staircase
Handsome with innocent light blue eyes
Makes me wonder why he acts so ugly, are you feeling' me?

(All I ever wanted)
All I ever wanted
(all I ever needed)
All I ever needed
(was a father)
was a father
(that's all)
That's all!
(All I ever wanted)
All I ever wanted
(all I ever needed)
All I ever needed... was a father
(was a father)


And that’s a rap…….

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

for me you are not


If someone stood up in a crowd and raised his voice up way out loud
and waved his arm and shook his leg.
You'd notice him
If someone in the movie show yelled, "Fire! In the second row! This
whole place is a powder keg!"
You'd notice him

And even without clucking like a hen.
Everyone gets noticed now and then
Unless of course that person it should be
Invisible, inconsequential me....

Suppose you was a little cat residing in a persons flat
who fed you fish and scratched your ears.
You'd notice him
suppose you was a woman wed been sleeping in a double bed
beside one man for seven years.
You'd notice him.

A human being is made of more than air.
With all that bulk you’re bound to see him there.
Unless that human being next to you is...
Unimpressive, undistinguished you.
No, who....

Should I bend my name
Mister Cellophane
Cause you can look right through me.
Walk right by me and never know I'm there..
I tell ya..
Never even know.....I'm there


I hope I haven't taken up to much of your time.

cloning sucks

Clacking bitches…
Could you be meaner?
Nop.
Why is that again?
Look. Do you remember Chloe from the old days?
Sure I do. The annoying Chloe right?
Right. Well imagine what the world would be like if everywhere you looked there would be clones of Chloe.
Now that would have been a real disaster.
Complete hell. And guess what I’m in it. Lots of Chloes everywhere, giggling with no apparent reason.
Poor missy.
Tell me about it. I mean they are so mean I can’t stand them.
You can try.
Do you think I haven’t tried that already?
Did you really?
I don’t have to convince you, you know.
Fine by me.
Ok then.

Monday, December 18, 2006

christmas without my heffalump

i told him: you can go honey but that doesnt mean i like it.
i'm gonna miss you a lot.

i'm forecasting a stormy christmas for you this year missy.

well hello there mr sheep. how are you?

fine i guess.

it's nice to see you again. where have you been?

i've been around here. what's been up with you lately?

not much. i got another job and it quite sucks.

you cant have everything you know.

i know but it's too much for me, especially now, during the holiday.

so your heffalump will be gone for christmas right?

right.

no problemo. you have me.

i know that you crazy sheep, but you know how crazy i get when he is gone.

crazy free. dont worry. give him a chance to miss you.

i guess you are right.

i sense boredom in the air.

you do ha? i am totally bored. i finally got some time to sit and write and what are the odds i cant find anything interesting to say.

like you used right?

tell me you are not being ironic.

hey missy lets just be honest ok. i'm not even reading you. there is no use in writing.

that's not true.

sure it is. sometimes we choose not to see things the way they truly are but instead create something new and imaginary that pleases our need to be special.

i'm special.

that's exactly what i'm talking about missy.ego satisfaction.

i'm a leo what did you expect?

**************************************


i saw tyler yesterday.

and?

nothing i'm just saying.

did he make that silly laughter of his again?

no but he coughed a lot.

what about that annoying jack no2 ?

he left us.

nooo!!!!

yes i'm telling you he left.

why is that?

who knows he got tired of the insanity in here.

phony jack no 2. he thinks he knows everything. he knows why your hair fall so much, why women dont want to have sx anymore, why hitler was the best leader of all, why santa claus doesnt exist.

santa is not real?

cut the crap.

no seriously now santa is not a real person?

yes. he is not.

then we should keep him company too.

note to invite santa for dinner tomorrow night.

check. what are we going to do after dinner tomorrow night brain.

try to take over the word of course. we have santa on our side.

merry christmas then......








.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

i'm still here

Thursday, November 16, 2006

just a story


The Demon Who Wished To Be Human

A long time ago, lived a demon from hell. He was bored with the things that were happening in hell, so he came to God and asked Him whether he could go to Earth. He was always wondering what kind of things happened there. God granted him permission to go there as long as he wanted with one condition: that he will never become a human.

The demon agreed. He was so happy; he didn't even torture any human soul for the rest of the day. He couldn't care less about any other thing beside his trip to earth.

Then, the next day he went there, to earth. There were so many beautiful views: the wooden homes, green-green grass under the blue-blue sky, with the yellow sun shining down the flying pink butterflies. In just a split second he fell in love with the earth. He both ever saw neither the grasses nor the sun before; hell is just rock and fire and tormented soul.

Days and days passed by, but the demon was still standing there, stunned and amazed by the new experience he had. On the next day, a couple of young people came there and laid themselves down on the grass under the shade of a big tree looking at the sky for a long time. The demon watched them; they looked so happy just like when he tortured a human soul in hell back there. He thought, that could have been very pleasing, so he did exactly like they did; watching the blue sky while lying under a tree. But the demon felt nothing. He looked once again to the couple and found them enjoying themselves. He checked if something was different on his place; the grass was the same, the tree was indifferent either. Yet he felt nothing.

In confusion, he woke up, came to the couple and asked;
why could I not feel happy like both of you?

The couple stared each other for a while, but then smiled nicely and answered to him:
the sky is already blue,
the grass is already green
all can be pale
but the beautifulness that you seek
is only in your heart within...

The demon realized that he didn’t have a heart to feel; only human have heart. Then, the demon wanted to become a human. But to become one he needed to find a heart. So, to get one he was ready to eat humans. He started with the couple who had just answered him nicely. And then he was looking for another human to eat.

There was only one thing on the demon's mind: to have a human heart. He became obsessed with the earth and more obsessed to become human. The most important thing was he already forgot about the agreement he made with God: that he would never want to become human. That demon wasn't aware of his horrible doing, because a demon, by definition... has no heart.


He began to wander around the village and eat every person he would meet. Young and adults, he ate them all. Soon, the village was on this terrorizing fear. Every villager was afraid of him so they left their home and hid somewhere safe. The demon searched for another human left in the village but he couldn't find any.

Until one day, a man appeared in front of the demon and said to him,
eating the heart of a man will not give you anything.

So the demon asked the man,
If that is so, what should I do to become human?

Sadly, at that time, the people of the village who ran away came out from their hides. Soon, they captured the demon.

Then, the man asked the people,
He is a demon, he knows nothing of human nature and life. I'm asking you humbly to spare his life...

But they refused,
No! He is a human being! He will be judged following our rules!

The demon was beheaded and died.

The man pitied the demon. He buried his head and planted a tree as a tomb. He believed that the demon would finally obtain a heart in his next life. The tree grew bigger and bigger as the years passed by. Now it resisted the rain and now looks down on human with kindness.

Did the demon ended up with a heart?

Don't ask me. It's up to you to decide.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

"Slip Out The Back"




You know me, I used to get caught up in everyday life
Tried to make it through my day so I could sleep at night
Tried to figure out my way through the maze
Of rights and wrongs, but like you used to say
Nothing feels like it's really worth it
Forget perfect, I'm trying not to be worthless
Since I last saw you I been looking for a purpose
Well I met this kid who thought like I did
He had a weird way of looking at it
This is what he said

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared
Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared

I don't remember where I met him or remember his name
But he walked funny like he was just too big for his frame
Just over five foot but he weighed a buck fifty
And what he said just seemed so right it stuck with me
Listen its like poker you can play your best
But you got to know when to fold your cards and take a rest
And know when to hold your cards and hold your breath
And hope that nobody else is stacking the deck because
I don't need to tell you that life isn't fair, it doesn't care
It arbitrarily cuts off your air, and like you I want someone to say its OKAY
But in the truest parts of our hearts everybody's afraid
But just underappreciated and overwhelmed
Fighting so hard to hide our fear that were scaring ourselves
You understand when I'm saying that you always did
But its different in the words of a cowardly kid

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared
Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you don't wanna be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared

I'm no hero, you remember how I was, you know
All I ever did was worry, feeling out of control
To the point where everything was going end over end
I'm spinning around in circles again
This is where you come in
All of this to explain to you why
I had to separate myself away from yesterday's life
Please remember this isn't how I hoped it would be
But I had to protect you from me
Thats why I slipped out the back before you knew I was there
I know you felt unprepared
But every single time I was around I just bring you down
And I could tell that it was time to be scared
Thats why I slipped out the back before you knew I was there
And I know the way I left wasn't fair
I didn't want to be around just to bring you down
I'm not a hero but don't think I didn't care









if only...


1.- If I were a fruit I'd be... an orange.
2.- If I were a colour I'd be... black.
3.- If I were an animal I'd be... a koala bear.
4.- If I were a domestic appliance I'd be... a washing machine.
5.- If I were a book I'd be... The little prince
6.- If I were a clothing item I'd be... a scarf,
7.- If I were a jewel I'd be... a silver earring.
8.- If I were an object I'd be... a clock.
9.- If I were a car I'd be... a Smart.
10.- If I were an element I'd be... fire.
11.- If I were a tree I'd be... a bush.
12.- If I were a drink I'd be... tequila.
13.- If I were an ice cream flavour I'd be... .Chocolate
14.- If I were a person I'd be... myself. (Not completely true)
15.- If I were a planet I'd be... Jupiter.
16.- If I were an insect I'd be... a mosquito.
17.- If I were public transport I'd be... a bicycle.
18.- If I were a song I'd be... Christina Aguilera’s Voice Within.
19.- If I were a movie I'd be... one of those that leave you blinking.
20.- If I were a season I'd be... winter.
21.- If I were a flower I'd be... a poppy.
22.- If I were a job I'd be... a 3D designer.
23.- If I were a cartoon I'd be... one of those that make no sense like Dot - Animaniacs.
24.- If I were a place I'd be... my bedroom.
25.- If I were a gift I'd be... a homemade one.
26.- If I were a memory I'd be... a sad one.
27.- If I were a city I'd be... a small one.
28.- If I were a sense I'd be... smell.
29.- If I were a game I'd be... scrubble
30.- If I were a candy I'd be... a lollipop
31.- If I were a time of the day I'd be... 3 am.
32.- If I were an invention I'd be... the radio.
33.- If I were a bodypart I'd be... eyes.
34.- If I were a country I'd be... Spain
35.- If I were a flavor I'd be... Bitter.
36.- If I were a sport I'd be... chess.
37.- If I were a smell I'd be... mint, menthol.
38.- If I were a subject I'd be... an art related one.
39.- If I were a flag I'd be... one with no meaning.
40.- If I were a building I'd be... one renewed but decaying anyway.
41.- If I were a month I'd be... August
42.- If I were a perfume I'd be... Flower by Kenzo.
43.- If I were a gummy candy I'd be... an acid ring.
45.- If I were a toy I'd be... a Rubik’s cube : P
46.- If I were a textile I'd be... black velvet.
47.- If I were a shape I'd be... undefined.
48.- If I were a answer I'd be... a vague one.
49.- If I were a common liquorice I'd be... one for bakery and sweets.
50.- If I were a word I'd be... one of those you need to say twice.